of mists, memories and mornings

Another morning rolls off the back of night wrapped in mists and dew.
I wake up slowly this day, a day that promises to be like many others,
and yet unlike any other I have ever known.

Life in it's inevitable course sends us up and- down along roads and byways that sometimes lead us to deadends, and at other times, bring us home.

This road I have traveled has had it's fill of detours, misdirections and deadends... it has also carried me to places of joy, peace and calm... and yet I am still traveling trying to find home.

They say home is where your heart is. My heart while it still beats in this aging body, is on the road traveling along, sometimes running, sometimes out of breath, and sometimes totally lost. But I wander on, still looking for home, praying for home....carrying home in me.

Home is where you discover GOD resides in those who take the time along the way to share their journey, their heart with you. Here's a prayer that we all find a heart that holds our home, as we open our hearts to be homes for others.

My heart is a home for the homeless, come on in, there is plenty of room inside.

Freckle Faced at 50

Freckles, the bain of my existence since I can remember. What kid wants freckles? Not this girl. no way no how... and yet there they were, and still are some 50 years into this life of mine.

You get used to them, after awhile. Just like all the jokes and comments that are either meant to tease or comfort, 'cause well, after all what are you gonna do about them- they grow on you :)

Oh yes, there are creams to cover or hide them... staying out of the sun doesn't work either- especially if you are a rambunctious red-headed tomboy who loved being in the midst of whatever was going on, wherever.

I recently ran across some old photo's of a much younger me, and sure enough, the child me was resplendent in her grin, freckles and out of control hair... funny how not much has changed after all... despite the years of trying to conform to standards of beauty and behavior that simply didn't, well fit :)

Re-membering her.. the child/girl now a grown "mature" woman- I can't help but wish to go back and tell the younger me that it will be okay- that all the distractions and standards that define behavior and beauty are simply that, distractions. That one day she will simply learn to look in a mirror and say, "good morning beloved" and that the face reflected there is the map and legend of a life lived in spite of, as well as in tune, with the inner song and beauty we each possess.

Sometimes we forget to sing our own song, and rely on the karoake versions to carry us along. But if we stay tuned in to our inner self- the essence of who and whose we are... we begin to embrace our differences as part of our own unique offering to the mosaic of community. I have learned this the hard way, by trying to sing others words, be what others have thought or demanded, and have come to a point where I can now re-member the girlchild Jeanne and embrace her whimsy and curiousity and tenacity with confidence and giggles.... and yes the freckles too!

My new anthem is "Freckles" by Natasha Bedingfield give it a listen;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8Uv3fJRe1c

So now my freckled 50 year old face smiles, grins and carries on, much like the girlchild- only a bit slower, but still loving every minute of it !

Haiku

Another exericise from Inspired... one that made me think and then stop thinking and let the words and rhythms flow, a reminder that inspiration cannot and should not be so controlled that the heart and soul are forgotten.

sitting on the beach
waiting for inspiration
to come and join me

God moves quietly
whispering the words to heal
my weary soul ache

waves of mercy pulse
upon the sand demanding
release on the shore

i venture again
into the living water
reborn, restored. Whole

Inspired! A SL writing circle

I am part of a collective writing group in SecondLife, we meet weekly to refine our skills of observation, inspiration and life... This is the first weeks writing prompt- could only use words proscribed by dear Gem- and of course I took liberties and added a few other words...:0 However the end results for all of us were remarkable....

Behold the beauty of the forest at my window!
God's power displayed in full authority over the earth.
The shining stars awaken stirrings within my soul
shadows and light entwine, a paradox of time and eternity.

Flowers sing like children the song of GOD's love and joy
exploding their colors and scent afresh upon the ground.
The Goddess touches my brow with gentle fingers,
guiding my eyes to see the grace and wisdom
unfolding by the lake, in myriad colors and shapes
the presence of the HOLY awakening in creation

Concrete Canyon

Saturday Afternoon in the Concrete Canyon

Listen to the wind whistle down
The concrete canyon
Stillness at hand,
The asphalt rivers cut through
The concrete walls,
Little life flows along their blackened surface.
The stillness is interrupted by the random
Call of the Holla back and shout out birds,
And the strident trumpeting of
hoopties and lo- riders:
resplendent in their spinners and hi-gloss sheen.
Church bells call out the cadence of passing
Minutes and hours
And the hum of life is hushed and slow,
As if anticipating the time when
The lights flip on, and once again
The asphalt and concrete fill with
The symphony of night music-
But for now, the wind whistles
Through the concrete canyon,
The asphalt river runs dry,
And the only sounds are those
Of anxious anticipation
Of the evening to come..

Long Time Gone

Woe is me... it's been a loooooonnnngggg time since I posted, hopefully this will remedy that situation, or not, we'll see how the muse inspires today. :)

Some ramblings from the core that I didn't have time (or rather make time) to place here...

An Evening in April

Evening out with the girls
Sitting around the table with
Ample amounts of wine,
sharing stories and dreams,
Our laughter fills
As we step away from the tasks
Of the day,
And spend time simply in the company
Of each other.

Pour another glass of wine,
Sip deeply and slowly and savor
The perfection of a spring evening
The circle of friends, the exchange of
Memories, hopes and dreams

The morning will come all too soon with
New demands and distractions to face.
Leaving a lingering smile in our memories
As again we resume the daily routines
That makes up our lives, our loves, our being

But for now, in this nearly perfect moment,
As daylight turns to dusk,
And the hint of summer to come sits in the air
Like the fragrance of the blooming lilacs
We celebrate the joy of our connected energies.
Capturing this moment in time
A memory photograph of delight and discovery
As hearts open to the intoxicating flavor
Of our shared togetherness.

Dissolving.....

The twists and turns of life often catch us off guard, surprised by the change of direction. My life is not different than many others- we sing sinilar songs of change, transitions and grace. Fortunately I have been blessed with friends and family who have helped sing along when the way has gotten clouded- and the words unknown. So it doesn't all come down to just numbers on paper, it really comes down to love, those whom you love and whom love you- despite the callenges and surprises, and the dissappointments and abandonments of those we thought loved us.......some things will pass on, others will remain, the trick it seems is to know when to let go, and when to hang on....

Dissolving....

Piles of papers, the documents of a life shared now sit neatly stored in file folders. No hint of disorder and chaos here. Only the simple resolution of the assets and debts, equitable distribution and recompense stated for all to see.
(dissolving: to undo a tie or bond, break up a connection or union)

No hint of the tears, the fears, the midnight risings to wander through the memories of lost hopes and dreams. No mention of the laughter and joy of children, only the hollow echo of silence, stillness shadows in the night, whispering of days gone by.
(dissolving: to breakdown emotionally, lose one's composure)

Neatly collated are the remnants and reminders of choices, good, bad, indifferent logged in to account for the passing of time and resources impersonal data defining the outcome with no hint of the people, emotions or care invested unanticipated in the end result.
(dissolving to bring to an end, terminate, destroy)

This is what it comes down to- Papers in a folder. The only tangible evidence of dreams lost tears cried unheard, unheeded. Lives altered, some in disarray, others unconscious of the discord. Still others unconcerned, simply relieved to have gotten away and happy to see life reduced to numbers sitting neatly in a folder where they can be filed in a box and put away to be forgotten.
(dissolving: to disappear gradually, fade away)